That’s no reason to block the TV. Marge: Can we get rid of this Ayatollah t-shirt? Couples Retreat (2009) Homer: That was fast. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. You know you have a problem if you are spending money you cannot afford on gambling. Homer: No, I’m going to ask Marge. Marge: Homer! Homer: I am not too fat. Voice: FOX Broadcasting. In theory, communism works. Homer: This isn’t India! Marge: I’m not going to the bathroom in the backyard. Sure I’m flattered, maybe even a little curious. Lisa: You’re not mild-mannered. With today’s modern cars you can’t get lost. Special Guest Voices ... Well, you have a gambling problem! And by funny stuff I mean hand holding, googoo eyes, misdirected woo—which is pretty much any John Woo film. [8F06] There's no way I can pay back all the money I owe. Marge: I don’t like you ogling her! Lisa: Just buy me the friggin’ toy. Homer: That’s exactly what it means! Lisa’s becoming very obsessive. Robot (2015) - S01E10. Now extended drum solo. The suit that makes me completely invulnerable to bear attacks. Homer: Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work. Voice: For automated stock prices, please state the company name. Homer: .10. I’m drunk. Well, you have a gambling problem." Homer: Balzac. It’s like when we stopped paying the phone bill. Homer: I dunno, drug lab? Homer: Overeating. In theory. The program is rock solid. Marge: Homer, for the last time. I will not say 'Springfield' just to get applause Do you know where your children are? Lenny : Oh, I know what it is. Homer: I bet this is all a big surprise, huh? If you have beaten the gambling addiction, I suggest you don't put a single penny into the machines ever again. Marge: Lisa, ordinarily I’d say you should stand up for what you believe, but you’ve been doing that an awful lot lately. Homer: Well if kids are so innocent why is every bad named after them? Scully: Homer, we’re going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. 1F08 If you see towels you’re probably in the linen closet again. It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Homer: Shut up! Homer: Right. Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart’s activities but then I’d be afraid of smothering him. Adults always blame kids for everything. {menacingly} We’ll change a lot of things. You didn’t win any money. Lisa objects and Marge suggests Florida since she loves orange juice and she has always dreamed of going there. Bart: Yep. With a stomach full of bread. Homer: Dancing away my hunger pangs, moving my feet so my stomach won’t hurt I think I’m in Chinatown. By. Homer: A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center. Marge: Homer, you have to go out there, face that mob and apologize for what you did. Homer: Woo hoo! The court is making me call everybody back and apologize for my telemarketing scam. Mr. Burns adopts this notion and builds the "Mr. Burns' Casino." Marge: This is the worst thing you’ve ever done! Honk honk punch. It has to be eaten! Nelson Muntz: Homer J. You’re a double-bacon genius burger! Gee, that’s odd. Homer: Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom. You can increase your chances of winning in certain types of betting by understanding how the odds work and any relevant game strategies, but you cannot guarantee the outcome. Homer: I’d like to read the following statement, but I do so under {a gun cocks} my own free will. Bart: But Wikipedia said he was passionate about rehearsal! So go ahead and enjoy the show. But the answer is no! How will the kids get home? "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words" is the sixth episode of The Simpsons' twentieth season. Homer: Heh heh heh. Marge: No, I’m just saying it’s very dangerous if you get it as an adult. Homer: Overdue book? I love that little shill. Homer’s Brain: Quiet. Addiction can ruin and claim lives and being addicted to gambling is just as valid a problem as addiction to drink and drugs. Homer: I’d like to file for… {dramatic pause} Divorce. Caller: Sir, I’m honored to inform you that you’ve won the Nobel Prize. Thank you, Bill Cosby, you saved the Simpsons! Lisa: I’m all for ethnic diversity but this is just pandering. Homer: Forbearance is the watchword. Problem Gambling This list will "provide a forum for workers, consumers, and supporters involved in dealing with issues created by problem and compulsive gambling." You have to know when to jump on the ship. All I need is a title. Homer: But I thought bankruptcy was the cool law. It’s like a freakin’ Country Bear Jamboroo around here. Lisa: I’m sorry Dad, these girls are nice on the surface but it’s hard work staying this shallow. Homer: I know. Oh my god, he did it! During a town meeting, Principal Skinner pitches the idea of opening a casino. Homer, when you forgive someone you can't throw it back at them like that. You mean about you. Let us never speak of the shortcut again. If you don’t have a wife I have kidnapped your brother. It’s just so fun and easy to judge people based on their religion. Homer: I said “secret”. Marge: Through cans of grease? Homer: Nah, that’s okay. Homer: Marge, with today’s gasoline prices we can’t afford not to buy a pony. Bart: Lisa, if I ever stop loving violence I want you to shoot me. This is the biggest frame-up since OJ! You went to a sugar factory? Well YOU have a gambling problem! Lisa: That ad campaign may have crossed a line. Homer: Sure. 2.1 secs . Lisa: Dad! Give me my dignity. I can't believe all the trouble I'm in. We’re China, right? Homer: Marge, they’re just hams, okay? An invitation to our high school reunion. Homer: What are you guys laughing at? Scientist: I’m sorry, we don’t play god here. Marge: Well that still doesn’t explain why you ate my soap. - Well, you have a gambling problem! Why don’t you read Cathy? And the punishment for murder is— well it varies from state to state and by race. Homer: Did Frank Lloyd Wright have to deal with people like you? Flanders: Son we’re here to help with your… uh, which addiction are we going after here? Marge shows up while Homer is doing blackjack duties and Homer thinks that it is strange that Marge is at the casino after her negativity towards it, but it's all in Homer's head as Marge was OK with the idea (it's possible that Homer sees her as an instant killjoy and preconceived this notion). But at least I made Lisa popular. Lisa: “And anytime I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna.” If I don’t, Buffalo. Homer: You keep disappearing and reappearing and you’re not even funny. Springfield is the world’s fattest town. Homer: Marge, I never graduated from high school. 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